Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
