I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
