I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
