quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
