Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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