I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
