whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
