Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
