I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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