somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
