puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
