the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
