Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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