I heard we made out
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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