Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
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