didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
