One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
