and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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