Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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