She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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