her vagine was all disorganized.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
