I'm sorry my penis didn't work
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
