Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
