Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
