He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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