Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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