Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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