dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
