considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize