Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think a kid would responsible me up
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
