so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
