hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
