YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
