First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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