hotel room ftw
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
