should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
