I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
