I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
