Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
