butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
