It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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