I'm lost and stupid without you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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