dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Every concussion has its silver lining
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
