I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
