so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
