no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
