peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
