My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
