Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
