somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
