I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
