how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need a beard to bite.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
