I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
