I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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