To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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