Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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