so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
