New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
