I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
