Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize