Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
