I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
